After the rehearsal
Print this, and say it to somebody.
The rehearsal is a way of finding out what you actually do. This is the part that is supposed to happen afterwards, with a person in the room, and it is the only part anybody has ever claimed helps.
Take it to a person
Read these out loud to somebody, and ask them to answer as if it were them. Out loud, to a face, is the part that changes anything. The rehearsal was only ever the cheap way of working out which questions to bring.
Nothing in particular singled these out. This is the standing list, and it is the same list anyone would get.
Tell them what you said in the rehearsal, as close to word for word as you can manage. Saying it a second time, to a face, is the part that changes anything.
Ask them when they last talked about money with someone they loved, and what made it go the way it went.
Agree one thing you will actually ask the person you are seeing, and roughly when.
Who to say them to
- A friend or a sibling who has been in a long relationship, and will not be tactful about it
- A pastor, or whoever does the premarriage conversations where you are
- A financial counsellor — if the money part is real for you rather than hypothetical
If this brought up something heavier than money — a relationship that does not feel safe, or debt you are hiding from someone — please talk to a real person about it. Your doctor, a counsellor, or someone you trust. This is a practice tool and it is not equipped to help with that.
There is nothing behind this page.
No account, no saved copy, and no record that you were here. If you did the rehearsal, the version at the end of your report had a line or two chosen by what your conversation actually contained — that version is gone the moment you close the tab, on purpose, and this one is the same for everybody.
Nothing will remind you to come back. If there is a reason to open this again it is because the conversation stopped being hypothetical, and that is an event in your life rather than one in a browser tab.
If you have not done the rehearsal, the list means more after you have.
4 exchanges, then it stops. Nothing is kept. What happens to what you type.
The rehearsal exists to get somebody to a person, and this page is the handover. If something in your life is heavier than a rehearsal can hold, please speak to a person: your doctor, a counsellor, or someone you trust.